Nine months have elapsed since the launch of my memoir. I shall never grow rich on book sales but have been encouraged that my scribblings have found an audience, both here in Australia and overseas.
Overwhelmingly, responses have been positive. Most people engage with the content, in particular my life story, and there is praise for my writing. But before I wallow in self-congratulations, it should be acknowledged that folk who are less enthused are prone to stay silent. Feedback may be skewed for that reason.
In any case, I thought it might be useful to summarise what readers are saying. On one level, it’s shameless self-promotion – and I won’t shy away from that. If the endorsements that follow provide an incentive for others to purchase the book, that’s great. Hopefully, the comments will also be of interest to those who have already read Whirlpool. They may be able to reflect upon where they find themselves on the bright spectrum of opinion.
One of my aims was to reach a broad audience, not only those with whom I have shared a guru and communal past. And this seems to have been achieved, drawing from the spread of readers and the comments I’ve received. Some people confided they always wondered what the attraction was to an Indian guru, plus taking sannyas and upending one’s life. My memoir has given them some understanding. Alternatively, there are those who identify as sannyasins but are open to hearing fresh perspectives. Their feedback suggests the book has given cause for reflection.
In quoting from people who have contacted me, I’ve been mindful to keep the comments anonymous, unless given the green light to do otherwise.
So here we go, with responses from those who have been or remain under the sannyasin banner:
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‘I've just got out of the Whirlpool, which to me was a very fine read. I'm most impressed with what I've gone through. I might call it a sober and seminal contribution of what it takes to go your own way - with spiritual teachers, masters and stuff. Your style of writing is a pleasant, flowing one; it seems like writing is an effortless thing for you to do.’
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‘I’m touched by your bravery, in being willing to look at all sides, all issues, and hold a respectful and wide place towards all of it, while not dodging the exposure of your own conclusions. I also valued your wide reading of many sources, most of which I have also read. And I enjoyed your intelligent and idiosyncratic style of writing. It’s good. I agree with you that many of us in the 70’s were exceedingly raw material. Immature, idealistic, cocky, angry, lost, disillusioned…..and we were also a bunch of very lovely souls, brave and heartful, mostly pretty intelligent, and so diverse. And the humour and playfulness! To share our lives with such a gathering was, in itself, such a privileged and unique happening. I’m glad others, like you, have done the work of examining and writing of it all.’ {from Nirved}
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‘I just finished reading Whirlpool and like it. You are an excellent writer and address many controversies in the second part of the book.’
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‘Reading your book I felt your energy was sorely missing in the entire narrative. I perceived you as having written your memories in a controlling sort of way, there was no inner juice I could detect and relate to. Also, to have other people’s comments excerpted and collected in the last part of the book, wasn’t happy reading for me. I usually enjoy inserts about other people as you go along writing, it makes it rounder, more alive! All in all, I felt the book rather flat and unnecessarily overly cautious.’
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‘I appreciated and learned much from your book both historically and heartfelt. I love that you were honest in your examination of Rajneesh, the human being. I am most attracted to his early works when he was Acharya until the ranch years. He changed so much during his silence that he seemed like a completely different person... The chapter ‘Other Voices’ was a bit challenging for me to read. This was possibly due to how it was arranged and my thinking process. I started to lose track of who was saying what. I love that you did the interviews/surveys that you did. I love how your book was arranged in the chapters and subjects addressed. Your life story, the experiences as a sannyasin, examination of Osho and the movement, and the ending portion of spiritual/philosophical ideas. Thank you for sharing your life and your reflections on Bhagwan and the sannyas community. I hope that more people will be as reflective as you have been about the wonderful and the dark parts of life as a sannyasin. It is easy for me to love the mind and heart of Acharya Bhagwan Rajneesh Osho and his teachings/philosophy and still question the decisions that were made while he was alive.’ {from Champak}
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‘I just finished your book and thoroughly enjoyed it. I must say that I found we are pretty much fully aligned on both our views of what happened and why it matters. I am glad that new light is being shed on the dynamics of the master/disciple relationship in general. The argument that it is a time-honoured tradition doesn't wash.’
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‘I agree with a lot of your conclusions, but there is a big difference: responsibility and becoming better people are not in my equations.
The name of Mr Schnarch (means snoring in German). But also the understanding that you describe after working with him is very important in my eyes. Awakening doesn’t fix your relationship or improve your working skills. This applies in fact to all areas of our worldly lives.
It's always, when you are getting into moral issues, that I find your book weak. In those cases (also on your blog and in some of your FB posts) I feel there is a stretched out second-finger rising, telling everybody to repent and behave decently from now on. I certainly wouldn’t do the same things again, which I did in my RNS time, but why should we feel sorry for it? I agree mostly with your recollection and analysis of Osho’s work and its consequences and you’re giving a good overview over some of the post Osho/post Papaji teachers. I’m still with you when you describe that awakening and ethical conduct has nothing to do with each other. I cannot agree, when you bring in ethics through the back door again in later parts of your book, but I still would recommend it to friends as a valuable eye-opener in many ways.’ {from Mahendra}
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‘I’ve finished the book and so much to say. It moves from a great yarn into a serious case for the prosecution. Well presented in a lawyerly way at that! If I were on the jury I’d probably be convinced as you present a compelling case. While you might not have been in the cauldron you were certainly in the fire with all its consequences, while I was merely scorched - peripheral but nevertheless memorable and defining the second half of my life to a large extent.
At the point you propose that Osho knew and in fact was the driver of everything, it occurred to me that I’d never lain in bed at night pondering this and if I hadn’t totally believed the official version I’d surrounded it with enough fuzz that it somehow didn’t emerge as something to bother myself with. Although I spent three months on the ranch leading up to the 1985 July celebration I had stayed fairly incurious to the politics and immersed myself in work. My own thoughts later were that it was the best and worst experience of my life, though having to reassess ‘the best’.
I haven’t read widely on the issue or even discussed it with someone who thinks like you so I was pretty shocked to be confronted with a version that had a ring of making sense. I may have said it in response to your questions but whatever Osho’s ultimate weaknesses may or may not have been I believe that the act of ‘taking sannyas’ or being initiated was life changing. It felt profound and I think it changed me in some fundamental way. I don’t think it’s any accident that most of my friends are or have been sannyasins. We have shared something that other people haven’t which is impossible to define but you obviously know what I mean. It doesn’t mean I don’t have other friends and networks that I value highly. And maybe it’s something to do with belonging to a loose tribe…we recognize something in each other like distant cousins.
There were lots of other thoughts that came and went as I read your book. One is that the whole ‘Osho experiment’ belongs to a particular time. It pushed boundaries but wasn’t totally out of sync with the mores of the day. For instance ‘free’ sex in the suburbs was a thing. Under-parenting, as opposed to today’s over-parenting was a thing. We were really in rebellion to the straight laced-ness of our parents who hadn’t been blessed with the easy life we had. Osho was made for the time and filled a niche. It’s interesting to speculate on what Osho would be like in today’s world.’ {from Bhavan Marshall}
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‘I just finished Whirlpool. Couldn’t put it down, as they say! You have written the memoir people tell me I should write, so now I don’t have to. While I thoroughly enjoyed reading it, including the bibliography, I was surprised that you did not reference one of the most complete and thoroughly documented works, The Osho Sourcebook (a bio-bibliography 25 years in the making, compiled by a Danish librarian, and free on the web) on the life of Osho.’
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‘I couldn't agree more with your characterization of Wild Wild Country, which was a rip-roaring good yarn but did little to explain Osho's pull. I think it was a good documentary for sannyasins, giving much needed material on Sheela's state of mind, etc., but not so good for newcomers, who probably just ended up conflating Osho and Sheela and thinking the whole thing was a crazy cult and that was pretty much it.’
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‘Having now had a chance to give your new book a thorough perusing I just wanted to congratulate you on a job well done. It manages to straddle the tricky divide between a personal memoir and a documentary account in a deeply informative and un-self-serving way. It’s also a real page-turner. The inclusion of ‘Other Voices’ was a stroke of genius and the positioning of the views of the true believers with those of the no-longer-enchanted was particularly poignant.’
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‘Thank you so much for writing it. For me it is the first step in reconciliation. I was utterly depressed at certain moments, horrified to learn of that which is public about Osho. But the strange thing is the idea of reconciliation is being expressed in me. I have a renewed sense of being okay, and all that I have done in this life to this moment here is just perfect as it is. And to also add it is clear the presence of the master is just that; still present.’
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‘I have been meaning to write to you. This is just a short one to say, I loved your book. It was good for me to see that my old friends feel similar about certain things in the past. So thank you to you.’
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‘Last night I was sleepless and I got caught up in the Whirlpool for three hours (since I have not really time to read thoroughly, out of curiosity I started in the middle - Rajneeshpuram). Amazing to read your description, I love it! Amazing the details you remember. I share especially your analysis of the events 100%.’
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‘I just finished your book and thoroughly enjoyed it. I must say that I found we are pretty much fully aligned on both our views of what happened and why it matters. I am glad that you have put that out in the ether, though I doubt it will change many minds among the faithful.’
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‘I found the structure of Whirlpool to be quite effective in that the commentary grows out of Bruce’s narrative of his own search for meaning at a time in history when there is a decline in organized religion in the West and an increase in inner exploration. In the first part of the book, Bruce writes with candour and clarity about his life and relationships and succeeds in capturing ‘the flavour of the era,’ the youthful idealism that led many young people to take the ‘road not taken.’
I am very grateful to Bruce for using his memoir as a basis on which to explore the master-disciple relationship. In his analysis of this complex situation, he asks some very pertinent questions as he identifies the flaws in the fabric of the Rajneesh movement that led to its downfall. As he points out, unless spiritual movements are based on an ethical foundation and discerning wisdom, they will flounder. One lesson I learned from my own experience is to be aware of my tendency to reify spiritual teachers and the organizations around them. The teachers themselves do not exist in the way we imagine them to exist, and the organizations they represent exist within the constraints and demands of the world. It is sad that we didn’t wake up to the fallibility of our teacher sooner, but it is never too late to learn important lessons from our experience. Those lessons form part of Osho’s legacy, along with innovative meditation techniques. This is the first account I have read that was written by someone who was involved the movement that takes a critical look at the situation, and I am convinced that in doing so, Bruce has accomplished his goal of facilitating ‘a deeper understanding of what . . .a search for meaning may entail.’{from Claire Lamme}
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‘A most interesting read. A book with not only, intimate personal exposure, but also with great richness of information and analytical discussion, provoking much fodder for reflection. I certainly enjoyed the language and writing, which was of such an impeccably high standard. It was because of the exceptional writing that it was a pleasure to read. One of the many aspects that appealed to me was the brilliant use of adjectives and metaphor, which are peppered throughout the book. I particularly liked the phrase ‘crush the stalactites of the incipient ego’ (just to quote and single out one). It was also pleasing to read work that was always so grammatically correct (something that does not seem to occur in other recent publications, despite employing an editor).
I particularly enjoyed all of Part One. The detailed account of your family background, your earlier years and all the experiences that you had growing up in post-war suburban Perth, as well as your education, work experience and marriage. I also really enjoyed reading the trajectory of your ‘journey’ and your involvement with sannyas. As the whole story unfolded, I found it most absorbing, and the story flowed so easily and engagingly.
I certainly did appreciate, and revel in, Part Two. Written more in essay format, with quotes, references, philosophies and discussions, of so many teachers, theories and concepts. What I found most interesting were your dialogues about ‘Enlightenment versus Personality’, ‘crazy wisdom’, the ‘Three Magi’ and the integrity of spiritual masters and teachers.
Over-all, I did find some of the points that you were proposing, somewhat disturbing, and they re-aroused some concerns that I had at the time, but certainly don’t concern me now. Sannyas was always considered to be ‘an experiment’, one of which I was passionately involved, and have absolutely no regrets. I can appreciate your point of view and ‘observations’ (P.258 – 261), which do ring with some truths. However, I also had my own experiences, the positive ones which I treasure, and the negative ones, with which I have come to terms.
The most endearing part of your story, for me, was the account over time, of your relationship with Daniele. I was deeply touched by your open-ness and honesty in revealing the progression of your involvement and evolution within the relationship. Despite all the difficulties and conflicts, you appear to have come through with such loving resolve.
I was poignantly moved by the last page of your book. There were things that provoked and inspired me, but I also respect and admire your ‘courage to be fully human’ in the writing of Whirlpool.’
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I especially liked the snippets about commune life, because it was something we all shared and it was amusing to see someone else’s world within my own world.
Other parts were probably better for those closer to you. Having worked closely with editors over the last twenty-five years, I have come to appreciate their understanding of how to move a narrative along while keeping the reader engaged in the flow rather than skipping around. I did find myself skipping around a bit to find areas that spoke to me. The rather granular descriptions of particular relationship dynamics don’t quite do it for me.
I liked the comments section at the end. It was an interesting mix of really quite thoughtful remarks based on ongoing life experience, mixed with what I can only call sort of culty stuff about how ‘He’ could never do anything that wasn’t perfect. But I guess this reflects the very broad community that we were and shows how, while some people strive to keep learning, others take refuge in admitting no fault. (And as an aside, I see this quite a lot on Facebook. I have become horrified by how many sannyasins, thinking they are being great rebels, embrace conspiracy theories and anti-science. Wow, I think! The ultra-right has won. They have co-opted the flower children!)
I did enjoy the book overall. I think I would have liked a bit more ‘big picture’, but perhaps that wasn’t what you had in mind. {from Krishna Gopa}
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‘I loved the ‘voice’ that was afforded to those who contributed to share candidly in the latter section of the book; my impression was that the responses were measured and honest. I also felt that it scratched the surface of what was evidently for all a powerful experience. The sense of place that was achieved in the more biographical and early life chapters I also enjoyed.
The thing that resonated very strongly with my own experiences was that the experience was significant, meaningful and powerful in all of the respondents lives, also that the experiences were collectively viewed as both positive and negative; the experience of sannyas and commune has become part of the bigger picture and understanding in the ‘search’ for meaning be it intellectual, emotional and/or spiritual.
I felt that the text flowed well and was for the most part engaging.
I enjoyed all of the Chapters of Part Two but especially the Other Voices chapter. I felt your exploration and analysis was balanced and was not stridently pushing any agenda other than seeking/presenting understanding and insight. I felt that the way you tied up the ‘loose threads’ was an important inclusion. Your focus on the broad picture as well as the mundane/individual experiences was valuable and held the reader’s interest.
Balance was achieved in relation to controversial issues. Although I fear those who are still in thrall of the (so-called) Master will disagree, but then that is the nature of the beast isn’t it? And a defining feature of being in a cult. (I think that as we seek freedom unless we have maturity we fail to understand the responsibility that is inherent in that quest, and there are certain truths about us humans that are universal no matter how much we might as individuals chafe against that.) I reckon that you could do another instalment dedicated to ‘Other Voices’ as it felt as if you had scratched the surface of what was there.’ {from Shanti}
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‘Thanks for sharing your life, your thoughts, your insight, analysis and questions in, Whirlpool. The title itself is a good starting point; interesting and apt. How can one come to grips with anything when sloshing around in a whirlpool? The washing machine metaphor is interesting too, in view of cleansing and renewal. You see the phenomena of Sannyas as a whirlpool; a force greater than the self (with a small s) that sucks one into a state of either grim hanging on or ecstatic let go! Chaotically alternating between these two states! From the title I get a certain feeling – a feeling of being out of control! You have encountered a force of nature, and one that one falls into accidentally unless one is a particular kind of thrill seeker. A whirlpool sucks you in and throws you back out again, it’s radical, unforgiving, ‘dynamic’, dramatic…..surrender or die!! When you’re thrust in a whirlpool there’s no chance of reasoning, having a calm discussion over a cup of tea!
I see how this reflects in your book. One moment you are flung into the deep end and the next climbing out and evaluating the experience. Yet always being changed in the process.
And here we are now gripped by the whirlpool of Covid 19. Not being able to see clearly ahead, the ground ripped from under our feet and occasionally coming up for air as we adjust to the ‘new normal’. It’s finally given me the chance to finish reading your book!!
I salute and admire your book. I feel you genuinely and honestly try to come to terms with the contradictions you encountered. It’s ordered and clear in its layout. It’s an offering of your experiences and I appreciate all the effort you put into it. You have a great gift with words, able to express your thoughts clearly. Most of all I love the honesty, how you’ve shared difficult issues like, sex, parenthood, complicity, loyalty and spirituality. I think you said that there are as many stories as there are Sannyasins and we all experienced the phenomena differently depending on ……well an infinite number of factors, including conditioning, expectations, imagination….Past Lives!!
I think for me the greatest gift was having permission to be a devotee – to dance, celebrate, be a mad Bhakti Yogi, freeing myself from a repressive childhood, to celebrate and express myself in ways I’d never have thought possible. Osho spun my romantic heart (in a whirlpool!) into a vortex of longing. And now I see it’s not ‘him’ but the longing that is the treasure. Sannyas gave me a Wild Ride, life-long friends, countless lovers, amazing insights, unimaginable experiences, a spiritual education; taught me meditation, painting, calligraphy, Tarot - and is still teaching me Trust. When I took sannyas, a typewritten message accompanied the letter with my name written in His beloved hand. The message read; ‘Initiation into sannyas is initiation into trust. It is the beginning of an inner journey…….a flight of the alone to the alone. It is going into exploration within the very core of your being. Only trust can become the boat to the unknown’ As fresh, relevant and mysterious today as the day I received it over 40 years ago.’ {from Anudhara Rolph}
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As the above accounts make clear, there is a wide residue of opinion among those who have a sannyasin heritage. This is to be expected, and if my book has achieved anything, it may be to do with inducing some readers to think more critically about that important time in their spiritual journeys. I’m not under any illusions my account may change the way others regard the guru/disciple relationship – particularly, those who are wedded to an idealised version of Osho and whose identity may still be symbolically wrapped in an orange shawl. These folk tend to dismiss any critique as irrelevant or, as one old devotee informed me – an attack on the guru. And then there are some, including those who have been close friends, who ignore the book or maintain their distance, in part, I assume, because they have already pigeonholed my views and don’t want to engage.
I guess when any writer or commentator ventures upon the delicate territory of personal belief structures, there is bound to be resistance. It makes me laugh (or cry). The spiritual search, if it means anything, implies a willingness to investigate anything in us that might trigger a reaction. That is how we get to learn about ourselves – an ongoing process – and to grow.
Most of us who encountered Osho in the 1970s and 80s are now at a rather advanced age, and it can be hard to re-examine, let alone re-evaluate, the spiritual edifices we may have built for ourselves. By the same token, those who dismiss or negate their early explorations may not give enough credit to their younger, more innocent selves. It took courage and trust to turn away from the mainstream - just as it takes a certain humility and ongoing awareness to see whether the love affair that flowered has become embedded in our day-to-day activities and attitudes, as we continue to enjoy the extraordinary gift of life.
ѽ ѽ ѽ
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